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”“You know, Robert, I wish we’d been able to talk like this over the years instead of during a time like this. For the very first time I feel you’re honestly interested in what I think, rather than how you can make me into a copy of yourself.”Robert protests, “But I only want what’s best for you!”Kyle sadly shakes his head while saying, “Robert, let’s not go back there right now. We’ve had the best day I can remember, and I don’t want to start the war all over again. Let’s just say we have different opinions of what’s best for me.”Fearing going back to the battle they had yesterday Robert nods, “I guess that’s an accurate statement.”The next few minutes are an absolute silence because both sides aren’t certain of what to say, if anything. Suddenly the quiet is broken by a knocking at the door. Kyle loudly says, “Come in.”The girl Kyle spoke to earlier comes in with two thick rib-eye steak sandwiches and two cold long-neck beers. She sets them on the table and makes a quick retreat,. .. not a worry in the world. But now here I am, standing in front of a mirror wearing a wedding dress trying to figure a way out of this. Nope, that wasn't a typo. I said wedding dress. Hmm, my body is definitely better suited for mermaid style over ballroom. Ugh, see that's the stupid shit that i've been saying for the past 6 months, living in this distorted fucking reality. Let me start from the beginning, and maybe you could help me figure a way out of this shit. Six months ago my buddy Rock and I we’re slouched on our beat up couch playing video games and smoking some weed. You know, a typical Saturday for two best buddies out on their own living the good life. I’ve known Rock since I saw him getting his butt kicked on my way home from school in 2nd grade. I tried to help, which promptly led to me getting my butt kicked and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since. His real name is Robert, but people call him rock because he’s not the sharpest tool. He’s short, chubby, not great.
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